Deadlines, polls, a question answered etc

My deadline is still not met. Many obstacles keep piling up to keep me from it. I will not list them all since they are boring as well as annoying but one of them involves my webmistress duties.

Until the deadline is vanquished there will be only sketchy posting here. I will also continue to not answer email, the phone, courier pigeons, or smoke signals. Sorry! Though if you do hear from me and I haven’t achieved deadline vanquishment you should yell at me to get back to work.

I will try to put up an occasional poll so you don’t all die of boredom. Feel free to complain about them in the comments. Yes, I am referring to you, Mr Eric Luper. Which reminds me to mention that I can see when someone votes from multiple machines. Nice try, Eric. Your jerboas still lost despite half their votes coming from you!

The latest poll may reflect this Aussie girl’s state of mind on finding herself far from home not long after a momentous election in weather colder than anything she ever experienced at home in Sydney. I would sell my left knee to have a meal at Spice I Am right now . . .

Regarding the previous post some people wanted to know whether not having an oven is de rigeur in New York City. I have seen flats here that have no kitchen at all and yet I still believe most flats in New York City come equipped with ovens. However, some of those do not work. One such is the oven in this flat. The oven does not work, nor does the grill, but three of the burners on the cook top function. (Mostly.) I suspect this may be typical of New York City flats . . .

For those who are annoyed that my “How To Rewrite” post still hasn’t gone up. A quick tip: when thinking about structure some writers find Shakespeare’s five acts the way to go. Or you could try the standard Hollywood three-act model. Or you could just wing it.

For those annoyed that I haven’t written about manga lately. I endorse The Drifting Classroom.

New Poll (updated)

Because Eric Luper had the temerity to suggest that quokkas are not the cutest animals on the planet I have devised a new poll. It goes up exactly a day after the last one which I successfully managed not to break—so you were all wrong. Yay, me!

I like having polls but I definitely need less buggy WordPress compatible software.

The “How To Rewrite” post will go up as soon as I, um, finish, the book what I have to rewrite . . . And the manga/manhwa/graphic novels one not long after that. Promise!

Update: Eric Luper jinxed me into breaking the poll! Oh noes. Oh well, at least the quokkas were ahead. But I had planned to leave it up for a few days. And I am too deadline addled to come up with a new one. Stupid crappy poll software! Stupid deadlines!

And now it turns out the poll is not broken. That’s it! I’m backing away from the intramanets, leaving the polls alone, and becoming a rabbit farmer.

Gah! We cannot wins!

All my life I have stayed out of the sun, diligently following the instructions of the anti-skin cancer campaigns. I have slipped on a long-sleeved shirt, slopped on sunscreen, and slapped on a hat.1 As a result (unlike quite a few people back home) I’ve never had any skin cancer scares. But it turns out that I’ve been putting myself at risk of rickets:

MILLIONS of Australians are exposing themselves to bone disease, fractures, diabetes and cancers by failing to get enough vitamin D, a crucial nutrient produced when skin is exposed to sunlight.

Experts have warned the highly acclaimed “Slip Slop Slap” campaign may have been taken too far by a nation terrified of skin cancer.

So I’ve avoided skin cancer but now my bones are going to spontaneously fracture? Fabulous. What to do? Apparently there’s a very “fine line between getting enough sun exposure for adequate vitamin D levels but not too much to cause DNA damage that leads to skin cancer.” My cause of action is clear then: I should go out in the sun more but not too much more. Um, where exactly is that thin line?

I shouldn’t be surprised. This is how the world works, innit? Everything is more complicated and tricky than it seems at first. Everything is a balance. Nothing is black and white. Still, I quite liked having one certainty: that minimising my exposure to the sun was good for me.

Le sigh. And of course here I am stuck in a place with absolutely no sunlight. Pass me those Vitamin D tablets, please? Thank you.

  1. That campaign turned me into a life-long hat addict. []

Political blogging

When I started this blog I was very definite that I wasn’t going to blog about politics or religion. I’d seen too many flame wars, too many blogs overrun by indignant trolls. My blog, I decided, was going to be sweetness and light and avoid incendiary topics.

But then the John Howard regime finally fell and I couldn’t contain myself. And, you know, what? I’ve gotten not a single troll. The discussions generated by my political musings have been thought-provoking, fun, and, most unexpectedly, my traffic is up. Who’d’ve thunk it? I love youse all!

I now feel free to blog about whatever the hell I want to blog about. If any trolls show up I’ll just nuke ’em.

That said, I’m facing a whole series of dread evil deadlines over the next month. So my promised posts on how to rewrite1, curing insomnia, my favourite manga, manhwa and graphic novels will prolly all have to wait.

In the meantime I’ll try to keep posting but may not be as substantive as I’d like.

So here, have another quokka:

rottnest_island_quokka2.jpg

  1. which has just gotten yet another request []

Quokka

If I could have any pet at all I’d have a quokka.

I once heard Tim Flannery say in a radio interview that they make excellent pets and that we would be doing them a favour by bringing them into our homes. Flannery reckons that a sure fire ticket to species survival is domestication. You don’t hear much about cows, horses, cats, dogs or pigs being on the verge of extinction, do you?

So there you have it. I wants a quokka.

quokka2.jpg

Landslide?

Not really.

For all the papers are touting the enormity vastness hugeness snufflufflagusness of Labor’s win back home I think it’s important to remember that the gap between Labor1 and the Coalition is not that big: 41.59% of voters gave the Coalition their first preference and 43.9% gave it to Labor. Then there’s the 7.57% who voted for the Greens and the 1.97% who gave Family First the nod. In fact the only places where there was a genuine landslide for Labor was at certain polling booths in the Northern Territory. Indigenous voters gave Labour more than 90% of the vote. Hmmm. I wonder why?

But in most of Australia, there are people around you who did not vote the way you did. Who do not agree with you and are not happy right now. I kind of think it’s important to remember that. They’re feeling now what we were feeling over the last eleven-and-a-half years.

That said, here’s what I hope the new government does over the next three years:

  • Make the banking system not the most expensive in the whole entire universe
  • Not go ahead with Gunn’s pulp mill in Tasmania or any new pulp mill ever
  • Do more than just say sorry to the Stolen Generation
  • Get rid of all refugee detention centres
  • Do everything that can be done to combat global warming
  • Devote way much resources to working on the Australia-has-no-water problem
  • Fix broadband. I’m in the US of A right now which has—compared to Europe—a very crappy broadband service and it pees all over what’s on offer back home
  • Start funding the arts again. Especially the Australian film and television industry which has almost disappeared entirely. And could you spend some of that money on script development?
  • Not sell uranium to anyone. Don’t mine it either.

And lots of other stuff I can’t think of right now. Like can I have a Vivienne Westwood ballgown?

Do I think it will really happen? All of it? Prolly not. But some of it’d be good. I reckon, anyways.

  1. For those who are wondering, no, I’m not spelling it wrong. It really is the Labor-without-a-U party. It is confusing and annoying. []

Compulsory voting

In Australia voting is compulsory. Everyone is expected to do it. Basically that’s because everything back home is geared towards making voting as easy as possible. Over here in the US of A it often seems to me like everything is organised to make voting as difficult as possible. What’s up with that?

In Australia if you don’t vote you pay a fine. Some people routinely pay the fine. Others who don’t want to vote register their dissatisfaction by filling out their ballot wrong or donkey voting. Often by scrawling a message across the ballot. Usually their message is a bit on the rude side. That’s fine. They’ve done their democratic duty. They showed up. The percentage of people who donkey vote is pretty small.

Some people object that many people are too stupid or ill-informed to vote.

Sure, I respond. But who’s going to make that determination? I kind of think what you just said is stupid and ill-informed. Should you be banned from voting? I think liking certain books by certain unnamed writers is stupid and ill-informed. Should they be banned as well?

Others say that voting should only be for the people who care passionately about the issues. When voting isn’t compulsory then only those who really care vote.

The problem with that is many of the people who really care are kind of crazy. Fanatics even. Who wants to live in a country where it’s mainly the fanatics voting?

Non-compulsory voting also leads to campaigns to stop the people you think will vote against you from voting. See: Florida and Ohio. It also leads to doing everything you can to get people you might be able to persuade to vote for you to the polls. Sometimes this is done in less than honest ways.

So you USians can give us limited terms and we’ll give you compulsory voting. You might also want a spot of preferential voting1 and weekend voting. Or at least have a national holiday. Also you could probably lose the Diebold voting machines. Other than that you’re good.

  1. that way protest votes—a la Ralph Nader in 2000—are not such a big deal. []

Australia’s timid heart

It wasn’t until I’d lived outside Australia for awhile that I realised just how anti-intellectual my homeland is. One of the worst things you can be back home is a “wanker” which more times than not is used to refer to someone who thinks too much. Oh, the horror!

At most of the schools I attended it was far better to be good at sports than at schoolwork and no one ever admitted to studying hard. “Oh this? I only started it ten minutes before it was due. Don’t know what the teacher was thinking giving me such a good mark.” Roll of eyes.

I’m still not sure what we were afraid of. Well, yes, the scorn of the other students—no one wanted to be seen as a swot. But why? Why was a love of ideas and learning scorned? What’s wrong with being smart?

At the time, I never questioned it. I barely even noticed it. It was just the air I breathed. Hiding that you were smart, underplaying your intellectual achievements, that was just what you did. Or tried to do. Some of us were crap at it. We were the wankers.

During John Howard’s eleven-and-a-half-year reign the anti-intellectualism grew. When I went through school we were taught about the dispossession of the original inhabitants of Australia by the English invaders; I keep meeting people much younger than me who were not. I keep meeting Australians who cannot comprehend that admitting Australia was invaded does not wipe out the achievements of those invaders, those early settlers. You can be an invader and you can be a brave settler. At the same time.

In The Guardian Richard Flanagan, a Tasmanian novelist, reflects on the Howard legacy:

In the wake of his defeat the attacks on Howard’s legacy will turn ferocious, but at their heart will be an unease, a ritual exorcism of something deeper that Australians would perhaps rather not admit. For a decade Howard’s power had resided in his ability to speak directly and powerfully to the great negativity at the core of the Australian soul—its timidity, its conformity, its fear of other people and new ideas, its colonial desire to ape rather than lead, its shame that sometimes seems close to a terror of the uniqueness of its land and people.

Its conviction that real life is going on somewhere else.

What Flanagan says is true. And it’s also not true. The tension between the two is a lot of what it means to be Australian. I think of how proud I was when Paul Keating gave the Redfern speech so many years ago. My pride, too, in John Howard’s immediate introduction of gun control laws following the Port Arthur massacre back in 1996. The horror I felt as the babies-overboard scandal was unfolding. Not to mention Tampa. And, of course, Howard’s continuing promotion of racism and intolerance: in the last days before the election he declared that the two things he was most proud of were the undoing of political correctness in Australia and renewing Australia’s pride in its Anglo-Celtic heritage. What of those Australians who do not have an Anglo-Irish background? What of the indigenous peoples of Australia? The immigrants from all over the world? What of their extraordinary contributions to Australia?

I don’t believe that each nation has a particular character. Or that all Australians are the same. Yet I cannot deny what Flanagan says about the Australian soul (whatever that is). We are a nation deeply suspicious of education and learning, who have produced an astounding number of prominent intellectuals, scholars, scientists and writers. Who, more often than not, go elsewhere to pursue their careers and contributions to learning and knowledge.

I am extraordinarily relieved and happy that John Howard is gone. I can’t imagine that Kevin Rudd will continue Howard’s legacy of anti-intellectualism, racism and intolerance. I could be wrong though. Those things existed before Howard took up the Prime Ministership and they’ll continue to exist long after him. It remains to be seen whether the new government will be as dedicated to improving the intellectual and moral climate of Australia as Howard’s government was to destroying it. The promise to say sorry is a good start.

But governments have come in before promising much and then delivering little. We’ll see, won’t we?

No more than two terms

There’s a lot I don’t like about the US political system, but there’s one thing they have absoluately right: No head of state should be in power for more than eight years.

I think John Howard has demonstrated this truth as did Robert Menzies before him and Margaret Thatcher and Tony Blair in the UK.

I agree with George Washington that any one person staying in power for too long starts to stink of monarchy.1 It leads to corruption and to the one person believing that they are more important than party or country. This is not a good thing.

I would love Australia to adopt four-year terms and also a provision that says no one can be elected to the office of Prime Minister for more than two terms.2

  1. I am with Winston Churchill who said, “Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all those other forms that have been tried from time to time”. And monarchy is amongst the worst. []
  2. And while we’re at could we get rid of the Queen? I want her off our money and no longer our head of state. No more Queens and Kings, no more governors-general of the country or governors of each state. And we do not need to replace them with a naff president or whatever. Isn’t the Senate a good enough check on Prime Ministerial power? []

Giving thanks

So today is a big ole USian holiday where at some point you’re all supposed to give thanks for all the stuff that’s making you thankful. It’s called—wait for it—Thanksgiving. We have no equivalent in Australia. Though we do have, Australia Day, where we commemorate the successful invasion of Australia by white people. As you can imagine the indigenous population consider it to be a day of mourning.1 The USian Thanksgiving has an equally complicated history.

But all that aside, I love the idea of a day given over to thankfulness. Here’s what I’m thankful for:2

  • That paper cuts heal quickly.
  • My iphone. I kisses it!
  • That the cold of this evil Northern hemisphere winter won’t actually kill me if I stick to my cunning plan of staying indoors.
  • That cricket exists and is being played right now even if I don’t get to see it.
  • The fingerless mittens with hoods that Cassie gave me. Another tiny defense in the face of this rampaging malign Winter. Yay!
  • The talking Elvis pen that Libba gave me because, hey, it’s ELVIS! and also because it’s so much cooler than Maureen’s lame High School Musical toothbrush. I win!
  • That there are two Australians in the house (yay, Lili and Sarah!) to lessen my homesickness and so we can all follow the election back home together.

What silly little things are you all grateful for?

  1. I’m one of those weird people who thinks there are things to mourn and celebrate about that day. As in, yes, Australia was invaded and taken over from the people who were already living there. And, yes, the early settlers of Australia were also brave and resilient making new lives for themselves a billion miles from home in a very inhospitable place. And, yes, the indigenous population were astoundingly brave resisting them against such overwhelming odds. My country bares the scars to this day. []
  2. Settle!—I’m not going to get too wet about this. []

Not home

I so wish I was back home right now. I’d get to follow the cricket and the election. It would be warm. The sun wouldn’t be setting just a few hours after it rose. No one would be asking me about my accent. People would know that Errol Flynn is Australian. I’m sick of being a foreignor. Back home I don’t have to explain myself nearly so often. I can’t tell you how tiring it gets.

If I was in Sydney right now I would go for a long walk. I’d hear flying foxes in the trees. I’d smell all the night flowering plants. I’d watch the light sparkling on the harbour. I’d be HOME. And I’d go to Forbes & Burton for breakfast. I miss you, Adrian! I miss all my friends and family back home.

Where do you wish you were right now?

Pumpkin

I’ve been cooking with pumpkin a lot of late.1 Mostly butternut because I loves it. But also spaghetti cause, well, weird! And I’m starting to experiment with pumpkins I’d never seen before. The US is the land of gourds. But I’m running out of ideas.

Here’s the thing though: I do not have a working oven or grill. All I have is gas burners on top of the stove. I can boil, I can steam, I can fry. I cannot bake or grill.

Thus far I’ve made pumpkin stir fry, pumpkin curry, lots of different pumpkin salads,2 steamed pumpkin with herb3 garlic butter, pumpkin mash, pumpkin soup, and pumpkin fritters. I’ve discovered that pumpkin and maple syrup are a match made in heaven.4

Anyone got any other ideas? But PLEASE no recipes requiring an oven or a grill. Pumpkin pie and scones are not a possibility in this particular New York kitchen.

Thank you!

  1. Note for USian readers, Australians do not use the word “squash” to refer to anything pumpkin-like. Squash is a soft vegetable that bears no relationship to any gourd. []
  2. Thai, Moroccan, and out-of-Justine’s brain []
  3. marjoram, chives, parsley []
  4. I’m sure you North Americans already knew that. Australia is not really the land of either pumpkin or maple syrup. []

Sorry

I was asked today why I say sorry so much.1

It’s true. I do say it a lot. I say “Sorry!” even if I am not even slightly at fault: like when, say, someone has bumped into me, or spilled something over me. I say sorry for pretty much everything. Even when I’m not at all sorry. Mostly when I’m not at all sorry.

As to the why of all those sorrys. I used to think it was just me. That I have this weird sorry-saying nervous tic. But I now know it’s cultural. I say sorry all the time because I am an Australian girl.

I realised this when I was living in Spain and one of my friends there blew up about it. She yelled at me that if I said sorry one more time it would drive her insane.2 That I could keep my “sorrys” and my “thank yous” and “pleases” and shove them [somewhere unpleasant]. She never wanted to hear them ever again. After that it became a joke between us. Every time I slipped up I would say—you guessed it—sorry. She would glare at me and then I would say sorry for saying sorry for saying sorry.

The Spanish, I learned, do not say “sorry”, “please” and “thank you” a million times a day.

When I went back to Sydney I noticed—for the first time—that I was not alone. Pretty much every woman I know says sorry just as much as I do. More even. It was quite the revelation.

I have since noticed that many English women suffer this malady. And quite a few USians—especially the ones from the South.

I have no idea what it means. But I have dark suspicions.

  1. not for the first time []
  2. ¡Me vuelvas loca! []

The unteasable

There are many Australian writers in town at the moment and there has been much socialising to celebrate.1 I can’t tell you how much fun it is to be in NYC and not be the only Aussie in the room.2 Especially when the other Aussies are fabulous folks like Deb Biancotti, Rob Hood, Margo Lanagan, Garth Nix, Cat Sparks, Trevor Stafford, and Jonathan Strahan. Much fun has been had.3

And much teasing has been teased. Aussies are a much more teasing people than most of my USian friends. It’s been such a relief to have several sessions of full-bore teasification. The Aussies were excellently mean to me. Such bliss.

In the course of this teasefest I realised that I have a friend who is unteasable.

Now I have friends I don’t tease cause I know they’ll get upset. Making people cry is not fun. Many USians fall into this category. But I have a dear friend I have never teased simply because it has never occurred to me to do so. I know she would not cry. She is not an easily offended person. I mentioned her unteasability to her. She says no one has ever teased her, or mocked, or been mean to her. Not at school, not at university, not ever.

Isn’t that bizarre?

I have been trying to figure out why this is so and if I’ve ever met anyone else who was so unteasable.

I can’t think of a single person.

My first theory is that it’s because she’s so unflappable. But I have other unflappable friends I tease and mock. So I’m not sure that’s why. Then I thought maybe it was because she does not tease. But that’s not true she teases her husband all the time.

I am at a loss and must study the problem further.

How about you lot? Are you unteasable? Have you ever known anyone who could not be teased?

  1. And, yes, that plus deadlines plus the blah blah blahs being out of control has put a crimp in my bloggery. Sorry! []
  2. Also for once it’s all of them who are jetlagged while me and Scott are perfectly fine. It’s usually the other way around. []
  3. Though it’s making me really homesick . . . []

Many Aussies and one permie ressie

We’re two Saturdays away from an all-Aussie (+ one permanent resident) fantasy explosion: the Printz-honour genius Margo Lanagan, editor extraordinaire Jonathan Strahan, bestselling author of the Sabriel and Keys series Garth Nix, not to mention Aussie-by-marriage Scott Westerfeld, oh, yeah, and me!

Has there ever been such a line up?

No, there has not.

Saturday, 27October 27
3-5PM
Books of Wonder
18 West 18th Street
New York, NY

Stick it in your dairy. Tattoo the details on your little brother’s cheek ((Okay, don’t really do that. That would be wrong.). Carn out and see us!

We’ll read (a little), answer all your questions (almost), and teach you how to talk Australian (maybe).

Jack Heath blogs at insideadog

Remember when Scott and me were blogging at insideadog? Well, this month it’s Jack Heath’s turn. We met him last time we were back home and were charmed and impressed by his wit and elan and the fact that he’s published, like, a hundred novels all before his (approximately) fourteenth birthday. His first US publication will be out some time in 2008 (I think). Go say hello and tell him I sent you.

International Blog Against Racism Week

International Blog Against Racism Week is on again. Yay! If you’re confused about racism and race you can ask the awesome Angry Black Woman questions. She’s smart and funny and will treat you with the respect that you will, naturally, accord her. It is a brave and time consuming thing she has agreed to do.

You can find lots of links and posts here.

I was thinking of responding to Scalzi’s post about how he deals with race in his books, but Kameron Hurly has eloquently said what I was gunna say.

I’ve also decided against writing about the miscegenation bruhaha over on lj because so many smart people have covered it.

And I’m definitely not going to write about my nervousness in discussing race and racism. I see no way of doing it that doesn’t go down the white liberal guilt road, which is, frankly, deadly dull.

I would, however, like to post about my theories as to why I get asked about the race of the protagonist of the Magic or Madness trilogy (Reason Cansino) who isn’t white, but I never get asked about the race of the white characters (like Tom Yarbro). I’ve also had people complain that Reason being of Aboriginal ancestry doesn’t “add” anything to the story. As if the story should somehow be “about” her race. (Though it might not happen on account of the whole busy-ness thing—also I’m not sure I’ve sorted my thoughts out yet.)

Then there’s Tobias Buckell’s post on being (not visibly1) mixed race and how it freaks many white people. The assumption that (visibly) white people have two white parents, and that (visibly) black people have two black parents, or that a light-skinned black person has to have a white parent speaks to misapprehensions about how genes are passed on. Not to mention the cultural specificity of race. Black and white are not tidy terms, they leak.

In Australia a black person is, by and large, an indigenous person. In the US of A it usually means someone of African ancestry. In the UK I have heard people of Indian ancestry described as “black” and also as “asian”. In Australia only people from China, Japan, and Southeast Asia are called “asian”. And so it goes.

In Toure‘s review of CHARGING THE NET: A History of Blacks in Tennis From Althea Gibson and Arthur Ashe to the Williams Sisters by Cecil Harris and Larryette Kyle-DeBoseof he questioned some of the inclusions and exclusions:

There are some strange choices—they barely mention two Africans now on the tour, Hicham Arazi and Younes el-Aynaoui, both from Morocco, but give several pages to the Wimbledon winner Evonne Goolagong, an Australian aborigine. Aborigines may be oppressed and darker-skinned, but does that make them black? The original Australians are no blacker than, say, Vijay Amritraj of India, who played in the ’70s and ’80s and acted opposite Roger Moore in “Octopussy.” Alas, he’s not in the book.

Today in a review of a new reality TV show set in an affluent black suburb of Los Angeles the term “white” is jokingly used to described a group of affluent black teenagers:

This leaves “Baldwin Hills” in constant danger of turning into “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air,” albeit with better jokes. The show avoids that fate by focusing much of its attention on the hugely charismatic Staci, the only cast member to live in the low-lying, less wealthy district known as the J’s (for “the jungle”), and her constant nemesis, Garnette, the self-possessed queen bee of the girls up the hill.

In one of the show’s main plot lines so far, Garnette, against her better judgment, invites Staci—whose sense of humor makes her popular—to a party and then watches in horror as Staci, the “party starter,” takes center stage and shows everyone how to dance. Back in the J’s with her friends, Staci is asked where she’s been and sums up the whole situation in six words: “Hanging out with the white chicks.”

Black people are often accused of being culturally “white”. Do white people ever get accused of being culturally “black”? And if so how different are the effects of those accusations? Working class whites aspiring to upper class tastes and culture are pursuing the great [insert country here] dream or at worst getting above themselves; black people are trying to be “white”.

Then there’s the Brazilians who are white in Brazil, but black and/or hispanic (even though they speak Portugese) in the US of A (sorry can’t find the link to the fabby article about this—will keep searching).

It would be comforting to think that this was all a matter of linguistics, but way too often it’s a matter of life, death, and freedom.

  1. Whatever “visibly white” means. One person’s white person is another person’s Jennifer Beals. []

Why head hopping is good

Ages ago I ranted against those who say that switching point of views is evil and wrong. I did not give any examples demonstrating when pov switching not only works, but makes a scene a billion times more effective than it would have been trapped in one pov only.

So here is one. And from a fellow Australian, naturally:

There was more talk, more laughter. One moment Arabella thought that he would walk away with the other men. The next Lord Petre feared that she would turn back to the box with Miss Blount, and that his chance would be lost. The chance for what, he could not say. Neither of them heard a word of the conversation; each of them looked for a reason to address the other. They both wished, vainly, that everybody would go away. At last, as the audience began returning to their seats, they found themselves face-to-face. Lord Petre stood mute, looking at Arabella intently. She struggled for a pleasantry to break their silence.

—Sophie Gee The Scandal of the Season

No writing technique is evil and wrong. It’s all about the execution.

An unanswerable question

Someone just wrote to ask me what to do when the writing is not going well. Fortunately, Diana Peterfreund has just written on this because I have no useful answer.

I suspect my own struggles with sentences that crumble as I type, with plot and character and meaning twisting out of my control, are at least partly because I’m very early on in my career. Old timers are much smarter about this stuff. Fer instance, my parents heard Thomas Kenneally interviewed the other day and he said that the writing got easier as he got older. After having written for more than forty years and having produced a bazillion gazillion novels (or, you know, thirty odd) he knows his own process and what to expect.

I don’t.

Not really. I’ve only written six novels and the writing of each one was different. I’ve been a freelancer writer for four years. I still have no idea how long it takes me to write a book. I can tell you how long the last one took, but not how long the next one will.

When you’re starting out you don’t know what to expect. You don’t know what you’re capable of. When the crappy writing days hit you—it’s a shock and you don’t know how to handle them.

Even super disciplined writers, like my old man, have days of words dissolving into puddles of putrescence, when they can’t focuss, and can barely squeeze out five words let alone a thousand.

What he does is keep writing. That’s where the discipline comes in. The act of getting yourself into the chair and typing—even if the words you’re producing make William McGonagall look like a genius—can be enough to get you past the crap and into the good.

Or not.

Sometimes people just need a break.

And only the writer can figure out which it is.

Personally, I’m pretty much always convinced that I need a break. Preferably in a place where there’s plentiful cricket coverage (alas, poor England), the food is fabulous, and the wine even better.

Sadly, my deadlines say otherwise . . .

Only 24 hours of LOLYA contest left

It’s midnight on the east coast of Australia (10AM on the east cost of the USA) the beginning of the final day of the LOLYA contest. Get your entries in by 11:59PM of today, Tuesday 31 July (East coast USA: 9:59AM 31 July). The comments will be turned off at that time.

We’ll announce the winners on the morning of 6 August (the evening of 5 August in the US of A).

Good luck!

Dry T-shirt contest

Over at insideadog Scott has had an attack of the lolcats and defaced several fine Australian young adult book covers. I am deeply horrified. Has he no sense of the sacred?

If you feel the urge to vandalise some other book covers (they don’t have to be Australian or young adult) post the links to your efforts in the comments thread over there. The best ones will receive a lovely Extras T-shirt. The contest is open until the end of the month and we’ll announce the winners in early August.

Awards

So, um, I seem to have won three awards this year. I know! I was as shocked as you. Anyways, I thought it might be fun to have a squiz at ’em. For annoying scheduling reasons I managed not to be at any of the award ceremonies so I’ve only just got my hands on two of them and have yet to see the third. It’s back home in Sydney being babysat by my parents (thanks Jan and John!).

Here’s the Susan Koppelman (thanks for accepting it for me, Brian):


Photo by Scott Westerfeld

The Norton (thanks, Eloise):


Photo by Scott Westerfeld

And the William Atheling (thanks, Sean):

William Atheling Jr. Award
Photo by Niki Bern

Contrast in awards styles, eh? I loves it!

Another quessie

For youse lot is now over at insideadog. A most excellent quessie even if I do say so myself. Go forth and satisfy my curiosity!

Also I’m really sorry for not answering anyone’s emails or responding to comments in like a million years. Remember how I’ve had to give up The Tour? Well, the business keeps on keeping on. But I’m really enjoying reading everything you have to say. Youse lots are funny, wise and most excellent. Thank you!

And back to work I go.

Blerk. Well, not all blerk. Just mostly blerk. Short stories? I stab them in the eye.

Insideadog on the fourth of July

Later this week me and Scott will start blogging together at insideadog. That’s right you’ll get a twofer—we will both be the writer in residence for the month of July. Though in Australia July starts on Friday the Sixth which in America is Thursday the Fifth. Got that? Not to worry, I’ll post here to let you know when we’ve started posting there.

Insideadog is the premier youth literature site in Australia—possibly the world! Past writers in residence have been such illuminati as Randa Abdel-Fattah, D. M. Cornish, Nick Earls, Simmone Howell, Margo Lanagan, Melina Marchetta, Garth Nix and Marcus Zusak. Not bad, eh? Pretty stellar company to keep. Do come over and say hi.

In other news it’s the fourth of July here in the US of A, which is their independence day. The celebration of telling the Poms to bugger off! (If only we Australians had done the same!)

Happy fourth of July, everyone! Be safe with the fireworks. Don’t drink too much. And eat only enough to make you happy.

Oz GLBT YA books (updated)

David Levithan’s speech at Reading Matters inspired me to put together a list of Australian gay and lesbian young adult books.

I could not do this on my own. Thank you Lynndy Bennett, Kate Constable, Susannah Chambers, Pamela Freeman, Simmone Howell, Judith Ridge, Penni Russon and Ron Serdiuk for all your help and suggestions.

This list is definitely not complete and is not annotated. It’s just a start. If you can think of any more titles, please let me know! And if you’ve read any of the books on the list and can say a bit more about them that’d be great too.

Lili Wilkinson has said that the Centre for Youth Literature will give the list a permanent home.

So here it is:

    Novels

    Will by Maria Boyd 2006
    Settling Storms by Charlotte Calder 2000
    The Rage of Sheep by Michelle Cooper 2007 (It will be released in August—so soon that I figured no need to stick it in the forthcoming list.)
    The Tiger Project by Susanna van Essen 2003
    A Trick of the Light by Susanna van Essen 2004 (Lili Wilkinson says “two dads”.)
    The Other Madonna by Scot Gardner 2003
    White Ute Dreaming by Scot Gardner 2002
    Square Pegs by Nette Hilton 1991
    Out of the Shadows by Sue Hines 1998 (Lynndy Bennett says, “From memory—it’s years since I read this—it is not the teenage characters but some of the parents who are gay or lesbian.” Update: I’ve now heard from a few people that there are gay teenagers as well.)
    A Charm of Powerful Trouble by Joanne Horniman 2002
    Obsession by Julia Lawrinson 2001
    Suburban Freak Show by Julia Lawrinson 2006
    Tumble Turn by Doug Macleod 2003 (Lynndy says “there is the assumption the protagonist is gay”.)
    Hot Hits: The Remix by Bernie Monagle 2003
    Thriller and Me by Merrilee Moss 1994 (Lynndy says, “From memory—it’s years since I read the book–it is not the teenage characters but some of the parents who are gay or lesbian.)
    Mr Enigmatic by Jenny Pausacker 1995
    What are ya? by Jenny Pausacker 1987
    Sky Legs by Irini Savvides 2003
    A Candle for St Antony by Eleanor Spence 1977 (Penni Russon says “a friend said it was a memorable book about an intimate relationship between two boys, though I think the homosexuality is very understated. It’s more about love than sex, I think the boys actually tell each other that they love each other and then kind of have to deal with the intensity of their emotions in the face of their peer groups.”)
    Peter by Kate Walker 1991
    Camphor Laurel by Sarah Walker 1999
    The Year of Freaking Out 1997 by Sarah Walker
    Loose Lips by Chris Wheat 1998

    Forthcoming novels
    Truly Mackenzie by Kate Constable 2008

    Collections
    Clouded Edges by Nette Hilton 1997

    Anthologies

    Ready or Not: Stories of YA Sexuality edited by Mark MacLeod 1996
    Hide and Seek edited by Jenny Pausacker 1996

    Memoir

    Holding the Man by Tim Conigrave 1995 (Penni Russon says “it wasn’t published as YA, it’s also not strictly fiction I think. But it is about two young men (a lot of it is about the relationship they have at school) and it’s such a beautiful beautiful weepy wonderful book.”)

    Inside Out: Australian Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered People Write About Their Lives edited by Erin Shale 1999

Romance (updated)

What’s your favourite romance? I mean that in the broadest possible sense. It doesn’t have to have been published as a romance. (I think most books are romances in some way or other.) What is your favourite book where a love relationship is a big part of the story?

And what was it about the way that relationship was written that so appealed to you?

What writers do you think do love stories particularly well?

Feel free to give me examples from Young Adult, Adult, mystery, romance, science fiction, mainstream, or whatever. Don’t care. Oh, and don’t forget about manga and graphic novels. I’ve been reading Emma by Kaoru Mori and it’s currently one of my favourite romances of all time. Because of the subtlety of the writing and the interplay between it and the images. The tension just sizzles from panel to panel.

I look forward to your thoughtful long answers! Which is my subtle way of saying I don’t want just titles. I want to know what it was about the romance that worked for you.

Oh, if you can do that without too much spoilerage I’d be very grateful. Unless you’re talking about a really famous book like Pride & Prejudice or Gone with the Wind or something. Then it’s okay to talk about how Darcy gets left at the altar as Elizabeth rides off into the sunset with Charlotte. Or was that Sense & Sensibility? I’m always mixing these things up.

Wow, I am being demand-ery today. Tell me where to buy precious things! Answer my questions! Peel me a grape! French me a fry!

Update: Karmela Johnson in the comments reveals what doesn’t work for her in a romance. Most useful and fascinating. She’s right, it’s just as revealing as what you do like. So, please, feel free to tell me the don’ts as well as the dos.

And thanks so much for all the comments. Fabulous!

Quessies for New Yorkers

Anyone know where I can buy preserved lemons (Morrocan style)? (Yes, I know I can get them online, but I like to shop in real life with actual people. I also know I could make ’em but I ain’t in the mood for sterilising jars.)

I’m also looking for Thai herbs like pak chii farang and pandanus leaf. And, yes, I’ve tried Chinatown. Couldn’t see ’em anywhere and no one knew what I was talking about.

And how about plain old chervil? (The places round here haven’t even heard of chervil. Is there some strange USian word for chervil I don’t know about? I googled and came up with chervil being chervil. So how come no one knows what it is?)

I’m in the East Village and am hoping not to have to travel too far to get these essentials.

In Sydney these are readily available so I’m cranky with NYC right now. I am hoping that they’re easy to find here too and it’s just that I don’t know where to find them. Otherwise I will start kicking NYC. Also pouting. Lots of pouting.

Aussies bash Aussies

The following is just me thinking out loud. I’d really love to hear from people who actually know about this stuff.

A while ago I read a piece by Susan Wyndham about Oz writers getting much better reviews in the US of A then in Australia. I was hoping for lots of examples but Wyndham only talks about Richard Flanagan’s latest book. Not that that wasn’t interesting, but I’d love too see if there’s any substance to the impression and if there is then is it a new phenomenon or an old one?

Within the world of YA I can only think of a few examples of Oz books being bigger in the US of A then at home. The Book Thief is the main one that springs to mind. It’s insanely huge in America and not especially big back home. The reviews in the US were over the top; I don’t know what they were like in Australia. Quite good I suspect but I doubt they’re as over the top as the US ones. Most Oz reviews of anything are less fulsome than US ones.

Writers like Ursula Dubosarsky, Sonya Hartnett and Jaclyn Moriarty, for example, are bigger at home than in the States, which is a shame on account of they’re all BRILLIANT. (Go read!) And then there’s Margo Lanagan who’s been pulling down as many prizes and accolades at home as she does in the US of A.

But YA is another world from mainstream literature. In Australia it barely gets reviewed at all whereas in the US there are gazillions of important review outlets: Publishers Weekly, Kirkus, Booklist, School Library Journal, Horn Book Review, BCCB (Bulletin of the Center for Children’s Books), not to mention all the local newspapers and journals that review it. I’ve had reviews in The Washington Post, Wisconsin State Journal, Des Moines Register, and The Eugene Weekly. We’re a country of 22 million; they’re one of 300 million.

In Australia reviews are pretty much irrelevant to a YA book’s success. Most of the big sellers have had very few reviews. It’s pretty much all word of mouth. For the grown up books reviews seem to be WAY more important, which leads me back to Wyndham’s piece and the comments it inspired. Is the harshness of some Oz reviews because their eyes are not dimmed by a romantic view of Australians and Australia? I’ve definitely seen strong responses to my work over there stem largely from my perceived exoticness. A response that would never fly here at home. I’ve been told many times by Yankees that they picked up my book because I’m Australian.

And then Sonya Hartnett in her interview earlier this week was talking about how difficult it is for her to be taken seriously at home because she doesn’t write adult fiction. That attitude doesn’t seem as prevalent in the US. But then I haven’t really come across it at home either. But I’m very new to this game and I’m not very well known in Australia.

Hmmm. Like, I said I’m not sure where I’m going with this. Just thinking out loud.

Does anyone else have some thoughts?

My people

So I just noticed that of the 25 authors being interviewed this week as part of the summer blog tour only 3 are Australian (me, Sonya Hartnett and Shaun Tan).

Excuse me? That’s only 12%. It’s an outrage, I tell you!

On behalf of my compatriots I am now sulking until I get a firm promise of fair representation of Aussies next year. I reckon 50% would do it . . .

And there are many more interviews today, including this one with Cecil Castellucci and, um, one with me. (Eek! Enough already!)

Community

Q: What is more fun than laundry and packing?

A: Pretty much everything, but I’m plumping down on the side of blogging.

Gabrielle says, “Isn’t it amazing to talk (and debate) with other writers?”

It sure is! I’m still buzzing from the high of Reading Matters and then last night it continued as I got to spend time with some of the top writers in the universe. Including—wait for it—Jaclyn Moriarty! Me and Randa Abdel-Fattah (who wrote the gorgeous and wry Does My Head Look Big in This?) were introduced to her at the same time and in unison we burst out with, “I love your books!” And proceeded to fangirl her. I’m such a dag sometimes. At least I wasn’t alone in my worship! Talking with both Jaclyn and Randa was one of the many highlights of this trip home.

Writing is a lonely profession. You spend oodles of time on your own: thinking, pacing, procrastinating, grumbling, and (eventually) getting words on paper. You get very little feedback on those words until than a year after you’ve finished deleting and pushing them around. Sometimes it feels like the only people you talk to are your agent and your editor and your cat. No matter how lovely they all are it’s not enough.

The occasions when you get to hang out with other writers are gold. You get to talk shop, hear about other writers’ processes, their relationships with their agents and editors and cats, hear gossip about writers you haven’t met. You get the warm and wonderful feeling of not being isolated. There are people who know exactly what it’s like to live and work the way you do.

I don’t know how I would have finished Magic’s Child—the third book in my trilogy—if it hadn’t been for Scott and Libba Bray sharing their war stories as they battled the third books in their trilogies. Not being alone makes the world a more manageable place.

And that’s one of the points David Levithan was making when he called for more books to be published in Australia by and about a greater range of people. If you’re a gay or lesbian kid there’s not a lot on the bookshelves here that touches on your experiences and what there is comes from overseas like David’s Boy Meets Boy. I still remember the shock of recognition the first time I ever read a book that was set in an area of Sydney that I knew: Patricia Wrightson’s I Own the Racecourse. Finding people like you in books is even more intense and way more necessary. Being alone can be wonderful, but being isolated not so much.

Most of us need to know we have peers.

The past few days has been chockfull of meeting people like me: Writers (like Jacqueline Wilson), Australian writers (like Simmone Howell), Australian writers who live in more than one place (like Jaclyn Moriarty). I am overwhelmed with the sense of having not one, but many communities. It’s a glorious feeling.

Reading Matters

So much has happened over the past few days I don’t know where to begin and frankly I’m too knackered right now to go into any detail. The Reading Matters conference was amazing. Lili and Mike did the most incredible job bringing together writers, publishers and librarians from all over. My head is still buzzing with it all.

There were several incredible moments of the conference. The three I can’t stop thinking about are David Levithan’s call to arms to Australian publishers and librarians to do more to support and produce young adult literature about, for, and by gays and lesbians; Margo Lanagan’s fascinating thoughts about what you can and can’t write about in our genre illustrated by examples from her new novel which I CANNOT WAIT TO READ; and Jacqueline Wilson’s keynote presentation about her career and new autobiography. She and David both made me tear up.

I want to sit down and write ten new novels. Sadly what I have to do is loads and loads of laundry. Ah, the glamorous life.

Thanks so much for all the comments everyone’s been leaving here. Sorry that I’ve had no internet access or time to respond. I do read every single comment and when I’m in one place for more than ten minutes I even try to respond to them. Normal transmission should resume in the next few days. It’s been a crazy hectic few months.

PS Apparently the debate went well. It was a draw.

Nervousness

It’s a huge comfort to know that lots of people get stage fright or suffer from glossophobia (fear of public speaking). Folks like Rebecca Gibney, Kirsty MacColl, Laurence Olivier, Elvis Presley, Dusty Springfield, Barbra Streisand. I am not alone.

Not even slightly alone. It’s so common to feel vastly nervous at the prospect of standing up and speaking in front of peoples that I’m amazed by the people who don’t get freaked out. What is their secret? A complete absence of nervous system?

Tomorrow night I have to get up in front of the peoples and attempt wit, charm, and persuasiveness. Um, gulp. I’ll be debating whether girls’ books are better than boys’ books:

    Girls’ Books vs Boys’ Books

    Thursday 24 May, 6.30pm

    State Library of Victoria, Village Roadshow Theatrette

    A debate featuring the cream of Australian and international writers for young people [JL: does that mean we are creamy? Is that a good thing?]:

    Girls’ team: Jacqueline Wilson (UK), Justine Larbalestier (Aust), Simmone Howell1 (Aust)

    Boys’ team: David Levithan (USA), Jack Heath (Aust), Scot Gardner (Aust).

    Cost $10/$5 concession

Wish me luck! If I don’t fall off the stage, or break the microphone, or vomit, I’ll count the evening as a success.

PS Am still stuck using stupid crazy expensive hotel internet. So still behind with email etc. Especially as this current hotel is against having an smtp server that works. Grrr.

  1. Simmone replaces Meg Rosoff who was unable to do the debate. []

Seven billion dollar post

Because that’s how much it’s costing me to be online.

I may need to do hotel-hatred management classes fairly soon.

In short:

Adelaide still gorgeous, still full of churches.

The wedding was awesome. I’m a sucker for weddings at the best of times. But this was more excellent than most. The bride’s speech rocked.

Despite the insane hotel gouging not allowing me to function in the 21st century, I’m more relaxed and happy than I’ve been in ages. Amazing how wonderful not working (and possibly not going online) and getting to hang out with my friends without feeling guilty is. More please!

Melbourne next. Where there will be much work and fun at Reading Matters. I’d link but that would lose me my second and third born children.

I leave you with a few questions:

Why is it not socially acceptable to say no to having your photo taken?

Have you ever bought books on account of reading blogs by their authors? Do you do it a lot?

Purple dress or red shoes? Can they be worn together?


PS Sorry for not responding to emails or comments. Blame the gouging hotels. Normal service will resume at the beginning of June.

Adelaide

Am in the pretty churchy city of Adelaide for a wedding. What larks. I love weddings! And these two crazy kids are great together. But internet access is not so much limited as BLOODY EXPENSIVE. Stupid gouging hotels! Colour me outraged.

So quickly: “gaol” is an another spelling of that place where people are locked up which is usually spelled “jail”. It ain’t slang. It used to be the only way the word was spelled but is on its way out. I cling to it out of love and perversity.

And thanks again for all the congrats on the Norton win. I can’t believe I’m still getting them! Yay! And an even bigger yay for the impact it’s had on my Amazon sales and my secret NYC bookseller friend who told me she has some people come in and ask for the Norton winner. Who knew?

Have any of you read any Jacqueline Wilson books? Some of you must have given that she’s sold gazillion billion trillion copies. I’ve been reading and really enjoying her Girls in Love books. Lovely.

And now I go before they demand my first born child.

I am remiss

I forgot to mention that Marcus Zusak was blogging on insideadog (I accidentally typed insideadag—Lili, I think we need a name change! Inside-a-dag is a much more accurate name for the writer-in-residence blog!) last month. Oops. You can still go over and read the archive.

This month it’s the fabulous Simmone Howell, whose debut novel, Notes from the Teenage Underground I gobbled up some time ago. Wonderful! You should all go over and say hi.

I’ve also been asked by a couple of folks to blog about the Paris-Hilton-in-gaol thing. I have no idea why anyone would want my opinion on that. I try as much as possible not to think about the Paris Hiltons of the world when there are far more interesting and talented people out there like Lindsay Lohan.

Do I think she should go to gaol?

That’s kind of complicated. I’m not convinced that gaols are the best places for rehabilitation of wrongdoers. But I certainly don’t want rich people to be treated any differently to anyone else. So, yes, she should disappear from view for 45 days. But mostly I kind of don’t care.

What I really want is for her to disappear from view for a lot longer than 45 days. For no one to have heard of her. I know we don’t live in a meritocracy, but I really really wish we did. I’m sick of vast amounts of press being given over to people who don’t actually do anything like Paris Hilton or the British royals. Who cares what Diana’s little boys are up to? And why? What a waste of words, pixels and space. Gah.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not against gossip. I loves it. I just wish we confined ourselves to gossiping about the people we know and people who do stuff not people who happen to be famous solely because they managed the tremendously difficult task of being born.

Thus endeth the rant.