Jesus played cricket

And the liar novel is almost finished. I’d say all’s right with the world, wouldn’t you?

He notes that in the Armenian Gospel of the Infancy, translated into Armenian in the 6th century from a much older lost Syriac original, a passage tells of Jesus playing what may well be the precursor of cricket, with a club and ball. (Via Lili.)

Sounds like a hundred per cent conclusive evidence of Jesus playing cricket to me.

13 comments

  1. Karen on #

    Yay for liar novel almost finished. Damn, you’re fast. When did you get so fast? And can I has some of that quickness plz?

  2. Amber on #

    Richie Benaud: And the Galilee eleven putting local boy Jesus up to bat third, an unusual move, you’d think, Ian?

    Ian Chappell: Yes; he’s one of their top fast-bowlers, but he was out for a duck in the last test against Judea. But who knows, he might pull out a miracle.

    *Jesus hits a six*

    Benaud: Oh, splendid. Midfielders Judas and Peter couldn’t touch that. The Essenes in the stands loving it.

    Chappell: But if there’s anyone who can cast doubt on Jesus’ batting abilities, it’s left-hander Thomas, who’s, oh I say, bowled a wicked off-cutter, and…

    Peter: HOWZAAAAAAAT?!?!?!

    Benaud: Oh, what a shame; Jesus caught out for six. And the umpire signals it’s time for tea. Fish in breadcrumbs for everyone.

  3. Justine on #

    Karen: Not really. I started this novel in 2006. Plus I don’t have kids and writing is my full-time job. Thanks for the congrats!

    Amber: Hah! You just made my day.

  4. Mark on #

    So did Jesus bat 1000 because he could, you know, alter time and space at will.. or did he bat a zero because he wanted the opposing pitcher to feel good about himself?

    Isn’t one of Dante’s rings for pitchers who struck out Jesus?

  5. Justine on #

    Mark: What are these pitchers you speak of? There ain’t no pitchers in cricket. Nor do batsmen “bat 1000.” Strewth!

  6. Amber on #

    Poor Mark. After all, the bat-and-ball game Jesus and the boys played couldn’t possibly have been the precursor of baseball, because Jesus was clearly English.

    Um.

    Think of it as more of a parable; consider the lilies of the (out)field. Probably striking out Jesus would’ve been ok – love thy neighbour and everything. Imagine Old Testament God being caught and bowled. Now that’d be trouble for the fielding team.

  7. Mike on #

    He’s clearly signalling leg before wicket in that photo on The Age website. Note the cool detachment of a seasoned pro, like Rudi Kurtzen, the finger of death is rising. Jesus knows when a ball has pitched outside leg stump, or is going to bounce over the top of middle. He knows everything, like Hawkeye.

  8. Justine on #

    Amber: No way was Jesus English! Ewww!

    Mike: Could Hawkeye be God?

  9. rebecca on #

    jesusu played cricket!!!! yeah for jesus! 😉 hahaaha, congrats on finishing novel! 😀

  10. Josh on #

    Nothing better than finishing a draft, and having no more blank paper staring at you.

    Cricket? Baseball? When I hear “a club and a ball,” I think of that exotic Scottish game from Humphry Clinker, with the apostles (or possibly cherubim) as caddies.

  11. Mark on #

    “He (Jesus) would take the boys to the seashore and, carrying the playing ball and the club, he would go over the waves of the sea as though he was playing on a frozen surface, hitting the playing ball.”

    So he cheated by walking across the water and hitting the ball where nobody else could play?

  12. Steve on #

    Jesus may have played cricket, and maybe baseball too, but we know He was on the pro fishing tour of the day. And He didn’t even need a rod or a net.

  13. dheeruyadav on #

    I think Jesus played wrestling as well, he was a multifaceted personality.

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