Authors are humans! Yeah, right. Tell us another one.

I hate to be the one to say it, but my dear friend, John Scalzi, is telling lies. He claims that authors aren’t machines.

So, not true. We’re all robots. Every single one of us.

Especially Maureen. She is one of the screaming author models.

Scalzi, himself, is one of the lazy author models. I know this because I am too. Once or twice we’ve gotten through cons by swapping out parts. (There’s not always time to get a tune up in the middle of a busy con.) It’s one of the bonuses of hanging out with same prototype robots.

I hope that’s cleared things up for everyone.

Posted by Justine at 0:59, 27 February 2009 under Bloggery, Frippery, Writing life | 18 Comments »

Comments

DG Lewis Says:

I, for one, welcome our robot author overlords.

February 27th, 2009 at 8:00 AM
2. Justine Says:

I was wondering who would be the first to type that. Bless!

February 27th, 2009 at 8:04 AM
Patrick Says:

I think the robots will protect us from ~~unicorns~~.

February 27th, 2009 at 8:07 AM
4. Justine Says:

Patrick: I can’t believe you used THAT WORD on my blog.

February 27th, 2009 at 8:11 AM
Patrick Says:

The robots made me do it?

February 27th, 2009 at 9:26 AM
Eric Says:

For some reason, the idea of swapping parts with Scalzi seems unwholesome.

February 27th, 2009 at 9:54 AM
Marc Says:

Is the strikethrough automatic? If not, it should be.

February 27th, 2009 at 9:59 AM
8. Justine Says:

Eric: It is! He doesn’t oil himself nearly as much as he should.

Marc: Er, yes, of course it is.

February 27th, 2009 at 10:02 AM
Jaws Says:

8: And the thought of Scalzi oiling himself just adds to the squick factor.

February 27th, 2009 at 10:58 AM
John H Says:

I, on the other hand, welcome our robot ~~unicorn~~ overlords. They are so much cooler than the robot author overlords…

February 27th, 2009 at 11:04 AM
Camille Says:

That explains so much. (Up to and including VC Andrews.)

February 27th, 2009 at 11:48 AM
Patrick Says:

I vomitted on my keyboard at the thought of Scalzi oiling himself. I hope the ~~Unicorn~~ King does come and take you away, Justine.

February 27th, 2009 at 11:54 AM
Dave Robinson Says:

I too bow before our Robot Authorlords.

February 27th, 2009 at 12:24 PM
Linkmeister Says:

Camille, that may explain most, but how do you explain James Patterson?

February 27th, 2009 at 1:07 PM
Camille Says:

@13. Oh. Um. Wow… Satanic rituals?

February 27th, 2009 at 2:40 PM
Linkmeister Says:

Grins. I was thinking platoons of primates chained to typewriters.

February 27th, 2009 at 4:21 PM
Cellobella Says:

Having met you today in person or should that be in all your artificial goodness, I would have to say that you do a good impression of being a human.

I note you did not admit to being a robot to the madding crowd…

Should this come under your post on lies?

Or would you say an omission is also a lie.

February 28th, 2009 at 3:30 AM
18. Justine Says:

Cellobella: Thank you! I have been well trained. Also I am latest model.

Omissions are not lies. If they were then we would all be liars. Mind you omissions can be very bad indeed.

March 1st, 2009 at 9:27 PM