Authors are humans! Yeah, right. Tell us another one.

I hate to be the one to say it, but my dear friend, John Scalzi, is telling lies. He claims that authors aren’t machines.

So, not true. We’re all robots. Every single one of us.

Especially Maureen. She is one of the screaming author models.

Scalzi, himself, is one of the lazy author models. I know this because I am too. Once or twice we’ve gotten through cons by swapping out parts. (There’s not always time to get a tune up in the middle of a busy con.) It’s one of the bonuses of hanging out with same prototype robots.

I hope that’s cleared things up for everyone.


  1. DG Lewis on #

    I, for one, welcome our robot author overlords.

  2. Justine on #

    I was wondering who would be the first to type that. Bless!

  3. Patrick on #

    I think the robots will protect us from unicorns.

  4. Justine on #

    Patrick: I can’t believe you used THAT WORD on my blog.

  5. Patrick on #

    The robots made me do it?

  6. Eric on #

    For some reason, the idea of swapping parts with Scalzi seems unwholesome. 🙂

  7. Marc on #

    Is the strikethrough automatic? If not, it should be.

  8. Justine on #

    Eric: It is! He doesn’t oil himself nearly as much as he should.

    Marc: Er, yes, of course it is.

  9. Jaws on #

    8: And the thought of Scalzi oiling himself just adds to the squick factor.

  10. John H on #

    I, on the other hand, welcome our robot unicorn overlords. They are so much cooler than the robot author overlords…

  11. Camille on #

    That explains so much. (Up to and including VC Andrews.)

  12. Patrick on #

    I vomitted on my keyboard at the thought of Scalzi oiling himself. I hope the Unicorn King does come and take you away, Justine.

  13. Dave Robinson on #

    I too bow before our Robot Authorlords.

  14. Linkmeister on #

    Camille, that may explain most, but how do you explain James Patterson?

  15. Camille on #

    @13. Oh. Um. Wow… Satanic rituals?

  16. Linkmeister on #

    Grins. I was thinking platoons of primates chained to typewriters.

  17. Cellobella on #

    Having met you today in person or should that be in all your artificial goodness, I would have to say that you do a good impression of being a human.

    I note you did not admit to being a robot to the madding crowd…

    Should this come under your post on lies?

    Or would you say an omission is also a lie.

  18. Justine on #

    Cellobella: Thank you! I have been well trained. Also I am latest model.

    Omissions are not lies. If they were then we would all be liars. Mind you omissions can be very bad indeed.

Comments are closed.