Justine Larbalestier

reading, writing, eating, drinking, sport

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Fashion hates

I see that I have not ranted about any of my fashion hates since the dawn of time! That is not right and must be fixed immediately.

What, you ask, am I hating on right now? Here are two words that should never go together:

“Roman” and “sandals”

They’re also known as gladiator sandals and Greek sandals. They are abominations. And I’ve been seeing them everywhere here in sunny Sydney. They are an affront to my eyes!

And, I suspect, an affront to the person who’s wearing them’s calves. Seriously, look at how many spots there are for chafing and blisters. It’s been in the high 20s and low thirties for a while now and a bit humid.1 In short, it’s the kind of weather that makes you sweat and when you sweat wearing those things? I see a world of pain in your future.

They do not make you look sexy. They make you look like a galumphing gladiator. And the constant adjustments they call for—when you lean over and rearrange and hoick and twist and push at them—also not sexy.

Please to throw your pair away immediately, or remake them into a bridle, or something, I don’t care what just get them out of my line of vision!

Thank you!

What are youse lot hating right now in the land of fashion?

  1. Yes, I know, not nearly as hot as Melbourne and Adelaide. I do not complain. This is my favourite kind of weather. [↩]

Posted by Justine at 2:44, 3 February 2009 under Fashion, Ranting | 19 Comments »

Comments

  1. marrije Says:

    That is a very good hate. Since I am on the opposite season, I am seeing wintry people. And there is currently this weird mini-trend (mainly among middle-aged men, strangely enough) for hats that look like there’s an eviscerated rabbit on your head: big huge furry things with earflaps. This might be OK if you’re in Siberia and it’s 30 below, but in Holland at -1? A bit over the top. Plus ugly.

    February 3rd, 2009 at 3:53 am

  2. hereandnow Says:

    One word: treggings. A hideous neologism AND an affront to my delicate sensibilities.

    February 3rd, 2009 at 4:24 am

  3. 3. Justine Says:

    marrije: See, I think -1 is Siberian-like weather and I would TOTALLY wear those. In fact, I would wear them at 10. Anything below 10 is UNEDURABLE cold of DOOM.

    hereandnow: You are in trouble. I was blissfully unaware of that neologism. You have ruined my night! I was already against skinny jeans, now that they have a hideous new name I hate them even more.

    February 3rd, 2009 at 5:04 am

  4. Q Says:

    http://thisisstar.com/?p=275

    This may top your gladiator sandals.

    February 3rd, 2009 at 8:07 am

  5. 5. Justine Says:

    Q: OMG! That’s SO wrong!

    February 3rd, 2009 at 8:26 am

  6. Stacy Says:

    The calf-high ones are hideous, but I will confess to owning a few pairs of ankle-high gladiator sandals and loving them dearly – mostly because I am the sort who can not wear shoes without ankle straps, lest I wind up barefoot mid-stride!

    The whole 80’s neon revival can end any second now, as far as I’m concerned. On the plus side, it is rather helpful of stores to have stocked up on things I would never, ever buy, just as I’m trying to cut back on my spending.

    February 3rd, 2009 at 9:48 am

  7. john cash Says:

    Not about fashion.

    Dear Justine,
    What are your thoughts on writing a story that’s meant to take place “in the present,” but also gives a date? I am wrestling with a set of stories which take place “today” whose protagonists’ parents have their own story (a prequel) dating to some time before the fall of Communism. So “today” has to be soon enough after 1989-90 that the parents are now a reasonable age. I like the prequel. Have I written myself into a corner here? Inquiring minds want to know!

    - John Cash

    February 3rd, 2009 at 11:02 am

  8. Lesley Says:

    Well, I was going to say crocs, but then I saw Q’s pic of the mating of the croc and the ugg, and well, I think that says it all for me. Thanks, Q, for the laugh. I really did think the gladiator sandal was bad, but that ugg/croc combo. Oh my…I have to send that link to my friend. She and I are the last two people on the planet not to have a pair of crocs.

    February 3rd, 2009 at 1:27 pm

  9. Mary Lou Klecha Says:

    Having spent many years with weirdly-patched sandal-tans on my feet, I am awestruck by the likely results of wearing calf-high gladiator sandals all summer. On the other hand, you could play endless games of tic-tac-toe on your shins…

    February 3rd, 2009 at 1:55 pm

  10. David Moles Says:

    So that’s what the skeleton of an Ugg boot looks like! I’d always wondered.

    February 3rd, 2009 at 1:59 pm

  11. Lauren Says:

    So with you on the gladiator sandals. Do these people not have eyes?

    February 3rd, 2009 at 4:27 pm

  12. caitlin Says:

    Wow! scary!

    February 3rd, 2009 at 4:35 pm

  13. Mike Says:

    The list of fashion grievances could stand its own book, so let’s keep it to just one thing: underpants. Boys, they belong inside your jeans. That is why they are called UNDER pants. Okay?

    February 3rd, 2009 at 4:55 pm

  14. caitlin Says:

    I’m really hoping that the preggers tops will have vanished from bodies and stores this summer. Last summer whenever I found myself in a dept. store it looked as though there was a virus making virtually every woman preggers. Why would one want to wear a preggers top unless preggers?

    February 3rd, 2009 at 5:01 pm

  15. cherie priest Says:

    Yanno, those had a brief heyday here in the states about fifteen years ago (give or take); but they didn’t run quite so tall, I don’t think.

    They were awkward then, too.

    February 3rd, 2009 at 8:30 pm

  16. Karen Smith Says:

    …pretty much everything on the LiveJournal community ugly_crap: http://community.livejournal.com/ugly_crap

    It’s a vortex of fashion violations and horrifying Etsy “crafts”.

    February 3rd, 2009 at 8:36 pm

  17. E. Kristin Anderson Says:

    I have a pair. But they don’t go up to my knees – they just have a couple straps around the ankle. And I think they’re cute!

    The ones there in the picture, though – are they JELLY gladiator sandals? If so, those would be hysterical in translucent red.

    February 3rd, 2009 at 10:39 pm

  18. Janet Lafler Says:

    When my three-year-old picks her own outfit, all sorts of crimes are committed. A few days ago she wore a dress with diagonal blue and white stripes, leggings with horizontal red and white stripes, a white sun-hat with pink flowers, purple socks with a design of spiders, and her orange bat shoes. To complete the ensemble, she took a yellow t-shirt and put her head and arms through the neck hole so that she could sling it around her waist. But she put most of it on all by herself, so I try not to quibble about details.

    February 5th, 2009 at 12:30 am

  19. Lunamoth Says:

    See, I look at those and all I can think is “boot skeletons”. As if someone’s boots lost their skins.

    February 7th, 2009 at 9:52 pm

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