In Which I Opine About Bubble Skirts

Because Nalo Hopkinson wants me to. What Nalo wants Nalo gets.

In principle I don’t believe any particular item of clothing is per se hideous. On the whole I don’t like one-sleeved dresses but there’s always a gorgeous example that makes me rethink that stance. I even saw a pair of formal shorts that did not make me want to gouge my eyes out. I have seen the occasional pregnant dress on a non-pregnant person that was not a complete sartorial disaster.

Bubble skirt from büdi resurrected. Some of their other dresses are lovely.

I admit that before Nalo asked I had not given the bubble skirt much thought. I wasn’t even entirely clear what it was. So my first step was to keep an open mind and goggle image the item in question.

Oh, my. Oh, no. OH, PLEASE MAKE IT STOP NOW. Aaaaaarrrrrggghhh!!!! Mine eyes! They burn! The eighties was a horrible time for fashion! DO NOT BRING ANY OF IT BACK!!!

So, um, I hate them all. How do you walk in them? What is the point of that excess of fabric? Are the wearers storing their phones and laptops and babies in the bubble? If so how do they access it? Seems awkward and uncomfortable. Wouldn’t it all start to weigh too much? Wouldn’t the fabric drag? If not fall off you completely? That would not go well.

Unless you’ve got tiny attack quokkas or squirrels or numbats or something stored under there. Ready for when the zombie apocalypse starts and you can raise your skirts and yell RELEASE THE ATTACK QUOKKAS/SQUIRRELS/NUMBATS/WHATEVERS!!! GO EAT BRAINS, MY PRETTIES!!!

That would be extremely cool.

But if they are not being used in that extremely useful way? Then, no. I condemn them. Get thee gone from this world, bubble skirts. And do it NOW.

Anyone else got any fashion queries? I am on my rest between first draft and second draft of sekrit project novel. I am ready, willing and able to weigh in on all your fashion dilemmas.

What are my qualifications, you ask? Click on the fashion category and you will see that I love clothes and am fascinated by the fashion industry. I have spent a lifetime staring at people and figuring out how to describe them and what they’re wearing. Plus I am really, really, really opinionated.

14 comments

  1. wandering-dreamer on #

    Heh, I used to think they were silly as well and would never get one but then I realized a cosplay I was making involved a bubble skirt. It was a bit hard to walk in but that also might’ve been because I was walking in heels for the first time, don’t think I’ll ever wear one unless it’s for this outfit though.

  2. Jackie M. on #

    Oh, man, I love bubble skirts. Not all of them, okay. And the love doesn’t always overlap with the ones that will look good on me. But some of them do look good on me, and by god!

    As a fat chick, I tell you, that’s not nothing. That’s far, far away from nothing.

  3. Jackie M. on #

    So there.

  4. Diane Z on #

    I had one that looked like #2 on p. 3 of googleimages. Only it was orange. And that was in 1987, where it belonged. And I wore it ONCE.

  5. Alaya on #

    I am full of disagreement! Okay, that image you picked is hideous, but in general? They’re awesome. I once bought a skirt a size too large and then used safety pins to attach the front of the skirt to the lining, THAT’S how much I love me some bubble in a skirt.

    I will admit that bubble shorts/overalls are slightly absurd looking. Which is not to say that I wouldn’t wear one in a second if it fit me ;)

  6. Justine on #

    Jackie M & Alaya: You are both INSANE!!!

    I kid. There’s only one fashion rule: if an item of clothing makes you feel good when you wear it then wear it. And damn what everyone else thinks.

  7. Mels on #

    OMG you guys, bubble skirts are THE DEVIL. They ruin perfectly cute dress designs with their poof. WHO WANTS BIGGER HIPS? Bubble skirts give them to you. UNFLATTERING.

  8. Mels on #

    Also, I second what our hostess says about wearing what makes you feel good. but I hate bubble skirts.

  9. Jackie M. on #

    Hooray, Alaya! Let’s you and me go insane devil bubble skirt shopping. We will compliment each other and make faces at the h8erZ.

  10. Piglet on #

    I do! Want bigger hips. Not that bubble skirts give them to me (but they look cute anyway, so yay!).

  11. Rebecca Leach on #

    Bubble skirts are not a thing I am a fan of. What do you think of maxi dresses?

  12. Justine on #

    Rebecca Leach: Maxi dresses are too variable to have one opinion on. Some are lovely. Some are hideous beyond speech.

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