A while back a bunch of us bonded over not driving and then about hating coffee. It was a beautiful thing to be able to share about the annoyingness of our mild oppression. Why is it so many people who love coffee can not cope with those of us who don’t and feel the urge to force the stuff upon us?
It’s not quite as bad with chocolate. No one feels the urge to force it on me but their horror at my hatred is if anything even more excessive. Chocolate lovers cannot conceive of people who do not share their passion. They look at us as if they have just found out that we enjoy killing babies. They doubt our humanity. You should see their faces when they discover I like white chocolate. “That’s not chocolate!” they proclaim in contempt. Well, der, you idiots, that’s why I like white chocolate because it doesn’t taste anything like the nasty real stuff.
I feel the need to bond today. Who here hates the taste of chocolate? I know I’m not alone.
Warning: All declarations of chocolate love will be deleted. No one here cares.
Update: I have now deleted five comments from people trying to educate us poor chocolate haters on how it’s just USian chocolate that’s bad and if only we’d try other chocolate. There are several problems with that statement:
- See the warning above: This is a thread for haters of chocolate—we don’t care about you chocolate lovers. Go away! You have the rest of the internets to fun free in.
- You’re assuming we’re all USian. I, for one, am not.
- Even if we were USian you’re assuming we haven’t already been hit by this argument A MILLION TIMES OVER1 and been given chocolate from other countries only to discover that even when it’s from Belguim or Switzerland or some other country that’s supposed to make the world’s best chocolate it still tastes like death and we still hate it.
Update x 2: Have now deleted more than 40 declarations of chocolate love. Youse lot are worse than the coffee lovers. But by all means keep them coming cause deleting your comments is the funnest thing ever. Tee hee.
- I’ve heard it about Australian chocolate and English chocolate. [↩]