Today is the official publication day of How To Ditch Your Fairy in North America. To celebrate I am doing what I did for Magic’s Child: sharing the first sentence of each chapter of HTDYF.
As usual my concern is to protect you, the potential reader of the novel, from unnecessary spoilerage. Because there is nothing worse. NOTHING. Hence there is a small amount of redaction. Trust me, it is for your own good.
Without further ado, behold the How To Ditch Your Fairy first sentences:
1. My [redacted] looked funny in the [redacted], which is odd because my [redacted] are tiny.1
4. It was such a long walk home that I almost wished I’d accepted the lift with [Redacted].
5. [Redacted: too spoilery]
6. “Just salad?” [Redacted] said, peering at my lunch.5
7. [Redacted] cornered me as I made my way to [redacted].
8. Dad was waiting outside the main gates, sitting on a fire hydrant, sketching.6
9. On Tuesday at first recess, [Redacted] and [Redacted] dragged me out onto the lawn over looking the outdoor [redacted].
10. While I love this school more than anything, there are aspects of it that are less than doos.
11. [Redacted] cemetery is the biggest and oldest in the city.7
12. By the time I got [redacted] the door to [Redacted’s] room was closed and no light seeped out.
13. [Redacted] was outside, sitting on my front steps, bouncing coins off the back of his hand as if they were jacks.8
14. [Redacted: too spoilery]
15. By Saturday I had racked up eleven (eleven!) additional [redacteds] , bringing my grand total to seventeen, or it would have except that my ten hours of [redacted] got me down to seven and kept me from getting any more game [redacteds].9
16. Walking through the city even at 8:30AM on a Sunday there were cars everywhere.10
17. [Redacted: too spoilery]
18. [Redacted: too spoilery]
19. [Redacted: too spoilery]
20. [Redacted: too spoilery]
21. [Redacted: too spoilery]
22. [Redacted: too spoilery]
23. [Redacted] came into the library during first recess.11
24. [Redacted: too spoilery]
25. “Well,” I said at last.
26. I put the heavy pile of [redacted] on the floor in front of me and turned the [redacted] [redacted] over, carefully placing it on the floor on top of the [redacted] [redacted].12
27. “Isn’t there a closer bathroom?”13
28. [Redacted: too spoilery]
29. [Redacted: too spoilery]
30. “You look bouncy,” [Redacted] observed.14
31. [Redacted: too spoilery]
32. [Redacted: too spoilery]
33. [Redacted: too spoilery]
34. [Redacted: too spoilery]
35. [Redacted: too spoilery]
36. [Redacted: too spoilery]
37. The [redacted] felt weird and uncomfortable and itchy.
38. [Redacted: too spoilery]
39. [Redacted: too spoilery]
40. It was my first [redacted].
41. [Redacted: too spoilery]
42. [Redacted: too spoilery]
43. [Redacted: too spoilery]
44. [Redacted: too spoilery]
45. The [redacted] [redacted] passed [redacted] like a [redacted], except that [redacted] [redacted] were [redacted], I [redacted] most of it, and my [redacted] were [redacted] to [redacted] [redacted] on.15
- You’ll have to read the book to find out what [redacteds] are. Although I worry that it is only too clear from context. [↩]
- I don’t know about you but I hate finding out the names of characters ahead of time. So spoilery! [↩]
- A Justine Larbalestier novel without food in it? I don’t think so! [↩]
- I would have redacted this sentence except that it’s all over the back of the book, is quoted in most reviews, not to mention you being able to read this chapter right here on this website. Sadly, the matter of Charlie’s fairy is no longer a secret. For which you have my apologies. Honestly, if I could spare you from knowing anything about my book before you read it, I would. [↩]
- I toyed with redacting this sentence entirely. It is a bit spoilery to know about characters’ eating habits before reading the book. But since this is not exactly a usual choice for her I decided it was okay. And in order to add to its non-spoileriness there are several lies in this footnote. Or are there? [↩]
- Knowing that there is a character called “Dad” is only a tiny bit spoilery so I decided not to redact him. I was more worried about the fire hydrant. Pretend you didn’t read that. [↩]
- It’s true that “cemetery” is a bit spoilery. If there’s a cemetery then there will be vampires and/or zombies. Or it means this is one of those YA problem novels about dealing with death and grief. But HTDYF isn’t any of those things. I mean I don’t even like zombies! I would never put them in a book. [↩]
- You know, the word “redacted” is starting to look really strange. [↩]
- Numbers are spoilery, too, aren’t they? I may possibly come back and redact this whole sentence. [↩]
- Should probably redact the time and day, too. Pox! Why am I giving so much of my book away? What was I thinking? What’s the point in reading it now?! [↩]
- I’m starting to love the word “redacted.” I think that’s going to be the title of my next novel: REDACTED by Redacted Redacted [↩]
- “Heavy” is a spoiler, isn’t it? This is such a TRICKY game to play. I despair! [↩]
- I figure most eveyone needs to go at some point, right? [↩]
- I did debate redacting “bouncy” and “observed”. Those words carry SO MUCH MEANING. [↩]
- A big risk I know including the first sentence of the last chapter. Here’s hoping my judicious redaction will keep you spoiler free anyways. [↩]