Zombie idol!

So, the whole Maureen Johnson stick a zombie into a novel thing has just gotten heaps bigger. Like heaps. You need to go over there to check out the extent of the bigness. I heard a rumour that there are more than a gazillion entries already! A bazillion gazillion trabillion! So many that’s she’s extended the competition.

And gotten some judges in. Stellar judges such as Meg Cabot, John Green, E. Lockhart, and, um, me.

I’m excited and delighted and slightly nervous. How long does it take to read a bazillion gazillion trabillion entries? Also—Oh. My. God.—I’m a judge with Meg Cabot. I think I’m going to faint.

To forestall the fainting fit here is my little take on the whole thing:

I got him to propose to me yes even though I am a zombie he said yes first I gave him the bit of seedcake out of my mouth and my God after that long kiss I near lost my breath yes he said I was a flower of zombieness and yes so we are zombies all a zombie’s body yes that was one true thing he said in his life and the sun shines for zombies today yes that was why I ate his brains because I saw he understood or felt what a zombie is and I knew all of his grey matter and pain and I said yes I could leading him on till he asked me to say yes take my brains take my bones take my marrow take my everything and I wouldnt answer first only looked out over the sea and the sky I was thinking of so many zombie things he didnt know of Mulvey’s brains and Mr Stanhope’s brains and also Hester’s and father’s and old captain Groves’s and the grey matter of sailors playing all birds fly and I say yes your brains are the best and the pink and blue and yellow zombie houses and the rosegardens and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gibraltar awash with blood and bones where I was a zombie of the mountain yes when I put the blood in my hair like the Andalusian zombies used and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall with his brains calling to me and I thought well as well him as another his brains are bigger and greyer and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower zombie and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my teeth all perfume on his skull and yes and his heart was going like mad and yes brains I said braiiins yes I will Yes.

Please don’t sue me, Joyce estate . . . is parody. Also it just sang out for zombies. Don’t you reckon?


  1. lili on #


  2. claire on #

    oh no! i did joyce too. the last paragraph of ‘the dead’.

  3. Jenny on #

    You know, I keep meaning to read Joyce, but now I’m afraid the real thing will pall in comparison to this.

  4. Hillary! on #

    I feel like such an idjit! I don’t know what author you did!

  5. chris. on #

    Hee! What Jenny said. 🙂 Who needs *real* Joyce when we have zombie-Joyce??

  6. Justine on #

    Now, now, some real James Joyce is amazing. Like “The Dead” which Claire has zombified. (Can’t wait to read it.) And Molly’s soliloquy (last chapter of Ulysses) is one of my favourite pieces of writing. Even without the zombies . . .

  7. chris. on #

    Well, i’ll admit, i exaggerated a bit for comedic effect. I’ve read Joyce up to and including Portrait of the Artist… — i just haven’t read either Finnegan’s Wake or Ulysses. I do agree that “The Dead” is excellent. But i’m still a bit too intimidated for either of Joyce’s last 2 works. I plan to get to them … eventually.

  8. Justine on #

    I know! I just don’t want to put anyone off Joyce. (Though I’ve never been able to read all of Ulysses or Finnegan’s Wake.)

  9. Carrie R. on #

    Wow. Just wow. The whole thing – awesomeness. More zombies for everyone!

  10. limeywesty on #

    on that subject of insideadog… I’m so EXCITED! All these literary geniuses helping bring zombies (well, MORE zombies) into the world of literature!

    We need to dance in celebration.

  11. Richard on #

    Ummmm… amazing. Simply amazing.

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