Ask Dr* Justine

I know I’m a teeny bit obsessed with search terms that lead to my website (especially when deadlines loom), but today’s list was a truly bumper crop. Here are my faves:

Q: does euphoria mean something bad?

Dr Justine says: It can. It really really can. Over-the-top happiness can lead to all sorts of injuries. I broke my toe that way once.

Q: where does andrew symonds lives 2006?

A: Ya know, I have a feeling it’s prolly better that you don’t find out. Leave the poor bastard alone. He’s injured and in South Africa. Stalk someone else!

Q: what genre do first time novelists publish easiest?

A: What now?! There is no answer to this question. There is no magic path to publication. Write the best book you can in the genre you know best. Even then publication is not guaranteed. (Though, actually, I hear mainstream domestic novels like The Ice Storm are a complete doddle to write. No research, don’t you know . . . And highbrow domestic novels are always in high demand.)

Q: similies and metaphors for counselling?

A: Umm. Kind as a sweet-tempered viper?

Q: justine in hippie goddess?

A: Not to my knowledge.

*Yes, I am a real doctor. No, not that kind of a doctor. The same kind of doctor as Dr Kim, Dr E and Dr Jenny.


  1. E. Lockhart on #

    ooh, no one has ever called me Dr E before

  2. Justine on #

    What can I say? It made me giggle. Mind you, when deadlines are scary close—everything becomes funny . . .

  3. Sir Tessa on #

    With my old stats, I used to do an end of the month run down of the funniest terms. My new stats aren’t as comprehensive. Mostly, I get hits looking for me, or looking for Halo related porn.

  4. shelly rae on #

    Or as I like to say, “the kinda of dr who can’t prescribe any cool medications…” darn it.

  5. Little Willow on #

    I’m extremely happy that someone found my site using the phrase: ” i have a dreamsicle ” I quoted Stephen Colbert on the front page of my site a few weeks ago. FanTASTic.

  6. Justine on #

    Sir Tessa: try Tis free and very informative. Halo related porn? You naughty girl, you!

    Shelly Rae: We only prescribe knowledge.

    Little Willow: I’m jealous. “I have a dreamsicle” is poetry!

  7. E. Lockhart on #

    it is pretty funny, to me, too

    I have big plans to come to the Books of Wonder event with my main teenager
    even though
    they spelled your name AND scott’s wrong on their promo email!


    well. we must be forgiving.
    after all. they are not doctors.

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