Comments on: Friends make everything better

By: Lunamoth

Lunamoth — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 19:26:06 +0000

My favourite “book friendship” is Frodo & Sam in the Lord of the Rings books.

And it totally makes sense that having friends to turn to makes the going easier. When we lived in Texas (my husband & I), we had only each other and a small handful of aquaintences, and both felt like everything was just so difficult. Now we’re in Pennsylvania where we’ve become surrounded by friends, and we feel like we can move mountains and have done more challenging things in the past 3 months than we did in a year in Texas.

By: Monday Links « Bib-Laura-graphy

Monday Links « Bib-Laura-graphy — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 21:15:42 +0000

[...] about YA or kidlit at all, but since a YA author is writing about it I have an excuse to post. Justine Larbalestier shares a study about how having friends improves your life, and she includes a wonderful selection [...]

By: Amber

Amber — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 20:32:08 +0000

Well, family members can be friends as well. My siblings and I are closer than many of my non-relative friends.

The thing I have most always heard is that you are always stuck with family, but not with friends. Therefore family is more stable and consistent in your life than friends. However, I recently come to know someone for whom that is not true. So I guess it really depends on the person and situation.

By: Hillary!

Hillary! — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 16:00:25 +0000

I just had a huge, horrible break up with my best friend, and I’m not gonna lie, it was mostly my fault. My closest friend was visiting me while I was cleaning my room and every five seconds I found something that either reminded me of my best friend, or there was something she had given me. Then i just gave up cleaning. And CF and I just sat on my bed, and she said, “This is almost like a romantic break up.” And it was. It was almost worse. And sometimes i still cry at the drop of a hat. But CF has helped me a lot and so have all my other firends. More than my family has.

I gotta say my favorite litterary friendships are the ones in Francesca Lia Block’s Weetzie Bat books and in Violet and Claire. I keep hoping that BFF and I will work out our issues and get back together like Violet and Claire did.

By: Jon

Jon — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 05:20:46 +0000

Jack Aubrey and Stephen Maturin in Patrick O’ Brian’s novels.

By: Harriet

Harriet — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 03:35:21 +0000

I had forgotten about Anne Eliot’s friendship with Mrs Smith. Although, since they don’t seem to have communicated much since school, I’m not sure how important it is to either of them. Then again, the implication of the end of the book is that they will stay much more in contact. Not so sure about Lady Russell and the Crofts – they are friends, but there does feel like a bit of a generational difference (in spite of the fact that Mrs Croft ends up her sister-in-law). And although Anne is friendly with the Musgrove girls, it’s kind of superficial – it doesn’t bear comparison with that of Elinor/Marianne, Elizabeth/Jane, or Elizabeth/Charlotte. Somewhere in the book it says (or implies) that Anne likes them, but feels intellectually/emotionally superior to them. Though maybe Eleanor Tilney feels the same way about Catherine.

I hadn’t really been thinking about male/female friendships, but I agree Elinor and Col Brandon is a good example.

By: Aimee

Aimee — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 22:36:35 +0000

@ Harriet: Eleanor Tilney and Catherine Morland are the big friendship, yes. But I still see Lizzy and Charlotte as an example of interesting, strong female friendship. Emma also has her friendship with Mrs Weston. Anne Eliot has no support from her family but makes up for it with close friendships with the Musgroves, Admiral and Mrs Croft, Mrs Smith, and Lady Russell. Elinor and Colonel Brandon develop a sort of friendship that never becomes anything but platonic.

Also, most of her heroines are friends with the hero first, which is neat. I mean, Emma and Knightly are best mates, Fanny and Edmund are cousins and confidants, Edward and Elinor are necessarily ‘just’ friends…

Sorry, once I get started on Jane Austen it’s hard to stop
Definitely agree with you on Jaclyn Moriarty’s friendships. I loved Feeling Sorry for Celia.

By: Harriet

Harriet — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 21:53:46 +0000

My favourite YA friendships are in Jaclyn Moriarty’s books. Feeling Sorry for Celia shows the development of a friendship (as well as the outgrowing of one that has become toxic) and Finding Cassie Crazy has one that goes all the way back to Primary School. And I think the reason Bindy McKenzie comes so unstuck is because for most of the book she doesn’t have a network of friends. The books really look at how important friends are in surviving adolescence.

Of course, I also like the friendships in Melina Marchetta. And Jane Austen, though it’s interesting that the really strong links are between sisters. Elizabeth and Jane will be friends for ever, as will Elinor and Marianne. But things are never quite the same between Elizabeth and Charlotte after Charlotte marries Mr Lucas, the Emma/Harriet friendship isn’t exactly balanced, and the Fanny/Mary one is much stronger in Edmund’s imagination than it is in real life. The only non-sisterly one I can really think of is Catherine Morland and Eleanor Tilney (who do end up as sisters-in-law). Or are there other key ones that I have forgotten?

By: Carlie

Carlie — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 21:13:48 +0000

My favorite friendship in YA is from another Melina Marchetta novel – Jellicoe Road.

Sigh.

By: Amy

Amy — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 21:08:27 +0000

I treasure my friends, and when I had to relocate, I found it harder to leave my friends than my family, although I’m very close to my family.

Favorite book friendships: I agree about Jane Austen’s characters, but also the Fellowship in LOTR – except Boromir, of course!

By: Justine

Justine — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 18:24:47 +0000

All your comments are making me want to cry and miss my friends back in Sydney. And also want to hug all my NYC friends. Bless!

By: Lauren McLaughlin

Lauren McLaughlin — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 13:41:46 +0000

Testify. When Woofy and I moved to London several years ago, we knew no one. It was stunningly awful. We had family nearby and, of course, each other. But the transition from a huge friend circle in New York to an empty one in London was horrifying. Now we have buddies in both cities so everything’s cool again. Great friendship story in a novel? Colors Insulting to Nature and, of course, Huckleberry Finn.

By: J

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 11:27:05 +0000

That was very interesting and insiteful. and so true. now, right now i am procrastinating instead of writing, so i must (sadly) go back to word mines (so close to finishing!!) then i must close this, and disable internet so i don’t procrastinate anymore. much.

By: Aimee

Aimee — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 10:21:57 +0000

All the sisters and friends in Jane Austen – part of the reason I love her so much is the different ways she writes female friendships and relationships.
Also, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.

And in YA, my favourite friendships are in Saving Francesca (Melina Marchetta). Francesca and Justine’s friendship makes me cry (“you’re my rock”), and I love the multi-faceted, incredibly REAL conversations the characters have. I read it when I was 17, so the same age as the characters, and I believed the dialogue so completely.
Anyway, yes, amazing.

By: Mary Elizabeth S.

Mary Elizabeth S. — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 05:18:48 +0000

I can attest to this. My family moved a lot as I was growing up, every two years or so (dunno why—jobs, climate, wander lust, what-have-you). The places where I made friends stand out as happy times in my life, but the places where I did not make any friends are recalled as being very stressful, unhappy times. Really none of the places were that different. My family’s financial situation didn’t really change, school was no more or less difficult, there were no problems in my life to speak of, or anything like that. But the lack of friends made life seem much less satisfying.

Leaving friends was always the hardest part of moving. Packing and unpacking didn’t bother me, losing stuff in moves became commonplace, living in a new area was an adventure, and I even learned to use my “new kid in school” status to my advantage. But leaving my friends was always painful. Some of them I still miss, though we’ve been apart for *years*.

The interwebs have improved the situation somewhat. (I didn’t have reliable access to them until my mid teens — *GASP*!) I can keep in touch with friends long-distance, and have even made some friends who I’ve never met face to face, but who I am deeply connected to.

Friends make all the difference in the world.

~Mary

By: Dave H

Dave H — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 03:18:06 +0000

I’d offer to be your friend, but there’s that whole unfortunate sworn enemies thing.

As for books, Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson.

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 01:39:16 +0000

Yay for friendships! Mine have all been way longer-lasting than any romance. They’ve all been much better relationships too (well, mostly).

By: Justine Larbalestier

Justine Larbalestier — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 19:01:28 +0000

Hey! What am I then? I thought we was friends!

By: Diana Peterfreund

Diana Peterfreund — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 18:58:52 +0000

Hmmm, maybe I should think about making friends.